I’m bankrupt – now what?

I’m bankrupt – now what?.

Quit whilst your ahead.

Well the last 3 months have been chaotic to say the least!  The New Year started with rehearsals for the play I was in last week and I don’t feel as if I’ve done anything else.  The play really took it out of me and I seriously think that now is the time to call it a day.

For the first time in my life I suffered from proper stagefright and I had to use therapy to actually get me into the theatre let alone on the stage.  Of course, when I was actually on the stage I enjoyed it (kind of) and you can’t beat the applause when it’s over but again for the first time in my life, I performed in a play and spent every moment on stage wishing I wasn’t there.  We’ve had great reviews but I personally feel it was my worst performance ever so I really do think that now is the time to call it a day. 

Of course plenty of people have said to me “Don’t be daft, you love performing, you’re just saying that until the next time” but I really can’t envisage a next time.  Yes, I’ll miss the undoubted buzz you get from walking onto a stage in front of a paying audience and I’ll miss the cameraderie between the cast and the crew, particularly when there are mishaps during the run and only you know about them!  But in terms of auditioning for a part, learning and rehearsing it, I’m just not feeling it like I used to.

I firmly believe that one of the key indicators of success is knowing when to walk away and I think my time has come.  Of course it could just be that I’ve been incredibly busy and my brain couldn’t take on any more but whatever the reason, for now at least I think it’s time to quit (whilst I’m ahead).

And it gives me more time to focus on business and look into some other opportunities that have presented themselves.

But right this instant, I’m going to grab myself a cuppa and get out and enjoy this beautiful Spring day for a while.

Savour Every Moment.

The past month has flown by and you know what?  I wouldn’t change a thing – although maybe get it to slow down a little so I could savour (almost) every moment just that little bit longer.

A sad, sad occasion on 24th Jan when I attended the funeral of the father of one of my closest friends.  I’m not going to dwell on that other than to say it was a very difficult day for all of us.  There’s the biggest cwtch in the World here for my friend and I have to give the biggest THANK YOU imaginable to the young man and good friend who provided me with a shoulder, chocolate, chardonnay, lots of feel good films and didn’t flinch when my tears made my mascara run and made me look like Alice Cooper or Kiss on a bad day.  You’re a true STAR xxx

That aside, the rest of the month has been pretty good.  Various business ventures/income streams have got off the ground and seem to be heading in the right direction.  They’re things I’ve been contemplating for years but never seemed to have the time/money/inclination to start.  Well, there’s no time like the present.  They’re nothing that major so I’m not going to say much about them here.  Let me watch them for a while before I wax lyrical (or otherwise) about them.

My latest BIG venture, is about to launch; Artisan Business Solutions.  I’ve finally taken the bull by the horns and decided to fly totally solo.  I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to outsource consultancy services to a firm of accountants over the past year so I already have an income stream from that but the opportunity presented itself to go completely solo so I jumped at the chance and I’ve just decided on my logo and am currently writing my website.  It will be www.artisanbusinesssolutions.co.uk or www.deborah-meredith.co.uk  Don’t look now as there’s nothing to see but check back in a couple of weeks and let me know what you think.

It’s a long time since I felt this fired up, positive and full of energy.  I’m sure it’s down to my chosen mantra “Whatever it Takes” and the fact that I’ve discovered this thing called the work/life balance.  I now chill out every evening and I have a weekly 1-2-1 yoga session which makes me feel fantastic.  My yoga instructor is brilliant, she used to take me for yoga in pregnancy – 6 years ago now (where does the time go) and we’ve got back in touch again lately.  Let me know if you want a really good yoga teacher, I’ll put you in touch.  And of course, I have EVERY weekend off to spend time being a yummy mummy to Boo.  We walk, play, bake, go for coffee, ride bikes, get muddy, go swimming, have cinema days, eat too much junk and generally have a great fun time.

For the first time in a long time I feel as if a blog isn’t enough space to witter on about what’s going on for me.  I’m going to stop now and conserve some of this energy – I need to learn some lines for the play I’m doing in March.  Let me know if you’d like tickets 😉

Deb

xxx

Whatever it Takes……is what I’m going to do.

There’s a song about that isn’t there?!

Happy New Year!

Well, I think I’m going to write December off!  I was ill from around the 5th until now and I’m only just starting to feel anywhere near remotely 100%.  I’d say at right this moment I’m about 85% of the way there.

All the things I usually do during the Christmas/New Year period had to wait whilst I spent most of my time in bed nursing a chest infection, influenza and finally sinusitis and a cold!  What it is to be fit and healthy eh?!

Anyway, never mind, I have more than made up for it in the past couple of days.  I’ve set myself goals, both 12-month goals and 90-day goals.  Some still need a little bit of work but they’re taking shape and I’ve started working out the steps I need to take to achieve them and in some cases I’m already taking those steps and reaping the rewards.

I’m also excited about various events that 2011 will bring.  First of all I’m off to London on Friday for a lovely dinner with friends and their employees, to meet a new friend and stay with an old friend, February is one of my oldest friend’s wedding,March sees me treading the boards again in Noel Coward’s “Blithe Spirit”, May is my 40th birthday – I really need to decide what I’m going to do for that, June is Ascot (it will be my first time – anyone know a good milliner) and a friend’s hen-weekend in Edinburgh which I’m organising, July is that same friend’s wedding in Norwich and then I guess we’re into holiday season, only I haven’t quite worked out what we’re going to do this year.

I haven’t planned the year out quite as far as August yet but I think I’ve got enough to be getting on with for a while.

I spoke to someone just prior to Christmas about something I was really keen to do but wasn’t in a position to get involved with, I think that person may well read this and if they do they’ll know that when I said “Whatever it takes”, I meant “Whatever it takes”.  I’m almost in a position to be able to proceed. Erring on the side of caution I’m going to sit tight for another week or two before making that commitment but the butterflies are already rumbling in my stomach and the only way to quosh them is to take action.

And it’s really funny, by doing “Whatever it Takes” and using that as my mantra if you like, there’s an added bonus in that it’s improved my self-esteem and self-belief no-end.

Last year, my word for the year was “Openness” (which you’ll know if you’ve read previous blog posts) and it really worked for me, this year I’m struggling to find one word and have toyed with “Esteem” and “Belief” both of which are good but seem too limiting.  So I think I’m going to have a mantra this year and yes, you’ve guessed it, that mantra will be “Whatever it Takes” because that really is “What I’m going to do”.

2011 – the year Deb got her groove back 😉

What’s your mantra for 2011?

Deb

x

Have faith…..

Wow!  This is the longest I’ve left it – it’s 2 months since my last post.  No excuses, I’ve been getting my head together.  I started this blog and this year, with the goal of being ‘Open’, which has been my word for the year I’m determined that I’ll end the year with the same element of excitement and anticipation with which I started it.

I don’t mind admitting that there have been times, particularly in the last 2 months, where I’ve felt that being open has been a big mistake, certain individuals have used what they’ve learned about me against me and it’s hurt – a lot.  I may have been through one heck of a couple of years but it’s been no worse than many other people have had to endure, I’ve just chosen to talk about it one here.  My ‘therapy’ if you will.  Plenty of individuals have gone through the same, if not worse, than anything I’ve ever been through or, God forbid, will ever go through.  I’m a very lucky and fortunate individual.

In that sentence I can already hear some friends reaching for the phone and telling me that I mustn’t belittle all that I’ve gone through but there comes a time where you have to stop bemoaning your misfortune and start looking forward.  I think this blog has given me the opportunity to deal with any victim-type feelings or emotions I may have had and is now allowing me to look ahead.

I’ve said many times that I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with some amazing friends and contacts.  Just this evening I’ve had hour-long conversations with 3 of them who have given me plenty of food for thought in three separate areas of my life.  One friend I’ve known 20+ years, the one just over 10 years and the other just about a year.  Now thanks to them all it’s going to be quite a while before I go to sleep tonight as my mind is buzzing!!

The conversations I’ve had with them struck me as interesting as I’m sure I didn’t have such in-depth or Open conversations with people before I started to be as Open myself.  Indeed, I don’t think I would have accepted some of their comments before I embarked upon this year of Openness. 

Unbeknown to them they, along with a few others, have acted as my counselors over the last year.  They’ve often given me plenty to think about, they’ve often made me cry (although I tend to keep that to myself) but they’ve always made me come back with more determination than ever before to do whatever it is I may have been wavering about.

We’re at that time of year where I seriously consider my goals and objectives for the next year.  The latter part of 2010 has been very difficult for me to set any sort of goals and objectives.  I’ve started numerous lists, thrown them away and started again but nothing has felt right.  I’m still very much in that position although I feel far more settled now than I did a couple of months ago.  Maybe it’s because I’m settled in the flat, my top client shows every sign of increasing my workload (which is very good when you’re self-employed) and my other clients are giving me regular work. 

My biggest stumbling block however, is fear!  Now that’s rich coming from me, I’m great at helping other people overcome their fears and the irony is that whilst I had no problem at all in risking my home, marriage and reputation on a business, I’m now struggling to risk giving up a little time to achieve something that’s long been a goal of mine.  I’m giving myself all sorts of excuses not to embark upon pursuing this goal and despite being told quite categorically that it’s something I’m more than capable of achieving I’m paralyzed by the fear of not being able to do it well enough!

The trouble is, it’s not something that I need to do, it’s just something that I’d quite like to do.  But, I’ve been ‘quite liking to do’ it for a number of years.  I believe I can do it, I know (and have the support of friends & family who also know) I have the capability to achieve it yet I’m terrified that I’ll fail!  You see, this goal has a finite marker of success.  Everything else I’ve done to date hasn’t been quite so black and white.  When I succeed at this goal I’ll have proof to show the World, if I fail only my nearest and dearest need know about it.

And maybe that’s the scariest thing of all – letting down those who have so much faith in me!

Til next time

Deb

x

Success – or not?

Isn’t it incredible how some people seemingly have a knack of seeing right inside your very core, questioning it and making you realise in a moment just what it is that’s been evading you for weeks?

That very thing happened to me less than 24 hours ago.  For some weeks now I’ve been in a period of transition; I’ve moved house, I’ve started a completely new project in the office and I’ve been aware of a shift in my thinking that I’ve been unable to put my finger on.

Last night I was having a very frank and open conversation with someone who told me that they perceived me as very status driven and motivated by money and all the material trappings of wealth.  I was a little taken aback but rather than take offence at what they’d said, as it wasn’t meant in an offensive manner, I mulled on it for a few moments before responding.  And I’ve mulled on it significantly more since.

I was surprised at how unoffended I was by the comment as it certainly wasn’t meant as a compliment.  However, as I responded I was aware that what I was saying could sound trite, an excuse for something that was seemingly unpalatable to my ‘accuser’ but I acknowledged what they’d said and actually agreed with them about why they would have that perception of me.

What I responded (and I’m paraphrasing here) was that I have spent so long in an environment where everyone judges success based upon material possessions that even when those possessions are no longer important to you, it’s difficult to work out what is important and more to the point, just how that mindset fits with your life and your life/lifestyle fits with your new, clearer mindset.

I thought some more about it today and realised that whilst I’m now in a place where I earn and own significantly less than ever before in my 20-year career, I am actually much happier than ever before and most definitely far wealthier!  You see, wealth comes in many forms and not all of it is material. I have learned over the past 2 years that ‘stuff’ is literally just a substitute to fulfil those areas of your life that you’re not happy with.  By focussing on the   ‘stuff’ you can accumulate and working how you can get it, you don’t actually have to focus on the harsh  reality of what’s facing you in  your real, day-to-day life.

The last few weeks have really brought that home to me.   Whilst I still have a picture of a red Porsche Boxster and a red Porsche Carerra 911 attached to my kitchen boiler, they’re no longer there because I covet them and aspire to own them.  They remain there as a metaphor, to remind me that no matter how much ‘stuff’ or ‘status symbols’ I have none of them will fulfill me as much as having a rich and varied life.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a long way to go but I’m already working on fulfilling certain areas that are important; like helping others.

Unfortunately for me I only have my business skills and talents and my performing ability to draw upon.  I’ve never been particularly vocational and would be hopeless in the battlefield or on a hospital ward but I can act pretty well which brings much happiness to lots of people who can’t afford to attend a mainstream theatre and I’m good at organising things and people.  So by applying those talents and skills in a focussed manner, I can do what I really want to do – help others.  And by doing that I feel totally fulfilled.

I’d like to thank my ‘accuser’ for bringing that to the forefront of my mind.  I’ve spent a vast number of weeks feeling restless but not knowing why.  I don’t know how many times I’ve written new lists of goals but scrapped them as they’ve all felt too materialistic and ‘out of kilter’ with what I was really feeling inside.

I don’t think I responded eloquently enough last evening, I’m not even sure I’ve been particularly eloquent here, but I hope that you’ll understand what I’m trying to say?  It’s been mulling around inside for quite sometime I’ve just been struggling with trying to understand what is to a degree and total about-turn.  I’ve spent so long buying into and agreeing with goals that talk about vast financial wealth, numerous properties and incredibly flash cars that I’d totally forgotten how to be me.

And of course, my main focus this year has been on working out just who ‘I’ am.  What is it that makes me tick?  Makes me really happy?  Makes me fulfilled?  I’m working on another list again, I’ve had several false starts over recent weeks but I get the feeling that this one may be a little easier to work through.  At the end of the day this list is about what makes ME happy, no-one else and certainly not what I think everyone else thinks should make me happy.

So thank you (you know who you are) for forcing me to focus on what’s been evading me for quite some time.  Sometimes we only notice the blatantly obvious when it’s displayed directly in front of us.

Until next time.

Deb

x

History shaping the future.

Isn’t it funny how things you thought you’d dealt with/got over/moved on from have a habit of coming back and getting you completely unawares.

I recently took part in an interview for an article that appeared in the Daily Mail this week.  The interview was quite cathartic and was about something I went through about 5 years ago.  I’ve since dealt with the decisions made and the result of my actions at that time and I was happy to be interviewed for the article.  So I was completely dumbstruck when the article was published and I turned back into the distraught wreck I’d been 5 years ago.

There was nothing wrong with the article.  Surprisingly they had been completely accurate, everything was in context and nothing was sensationalised but nothing could have prepared me for the rush of emotion and outpouring of ‘grief’ (that’s the only way I can describe it) that I felt when I saw it all written down in black and white.

It was so raw, so painful that I even wrote on my Facebook status that I felt “as if my heart has been ripped out”.  And once again, true friends came to the fore.  The comments, text messages and phone calls I received as a result were overwhelming and so, so appreciated.

What it did do though was once again bring to the forefront of my mind just exactly what I want out of life and what I want to do with my life.  I’ve taken my mind off the ball recently and been sidetracked, not by anything in particular but by other people’s ideals.

This article reminded me of what’s important to me and what I want out of life.  My primary goal, particularly in the past 5 years has been to help people.  To be more specific I want to help others avoid what I’ve been through in the past 5 years and I’m working out how best to do that.

I know I get a good response when I deliver talks, but I get struck by fear and lack of confidence thinking ‘Who on Earth wants to listen to me’.  I know from the feedback I receive that people find me inspirational, empowering and when I don’t tweet or update my facebook status they miss my  “daily dose of positivity”.  So it seems strange that I should now be writing about a lack of focus, lack of confidence and fear but I personally feel that that just makes me seem human.  We all have our wobbles occasionally and sometimes I get them too.  I just, up until now, haven’t broadcast them too widely. 

It kind of ties in with one of my personal mottoes though, I don’t know what the rules of ‘being inspirational’ are, so if I don’t know the rules, I can’t break them!  It’s also the rules I tend to approach business with. 

So what’s this blog about.  I don’t know, just my inane ramblings on a Friday night in a week that’s ended on a much happier, more positive note than I was expecting it to.  I’m looking forward to what the next few months will bring and I’m now ready to refocus and realign my goals and dreams to my core principles.  My gut instinct tells me that if I focus on what really is important to me then actually it really will work.

Only time will tell but I know I’m going to have great fun trying.

It’s not possible to be a failure if all you’re doing is following your dreams, who cares if they don’t work out, at least you’ve had a go -which is more than most people will do.

Have a great weekend.  I know I’m going to.  I can’t wait to get out in the fresh air with  Boo, laugh, smile, play and let my mind wander to start formulating my plans.

Deb

Parents, fear and getting over it all….

Yet again, I’ve re-read my previous blogs and sat here thinking “oh no, once again you’ve failed to deliver what you promised!”  I was going to update this blog every couple of days – well I’ve realised it’s been about 6 weeks so that’s gone out of the window.  I was going to do something different every day –   well I daresay I have, it’s been such a mad 6 weeks, but I’m not  sure I could remember what I’ve done!

I have a choice, I can either view that as a failure, or I can take the view that I’ve been far too busy and having far too much fun to have been able to blog every day!  I’m choosing to take the latter option and guess what?  That’s the reality!

So what’s happened since the last post?  Well, the biggest thing is that I’ve moved house.  I’ve moved from the shelter that was my parent’s home back into a place of my own.  I will remain eternally grateful to my parents for welcoming me back into their home at the age of 38, for a couple of weeks, that turned into a year.  I’m also very aware that I’m very lucky to feel as if I had the option of ‘going home’.  My parents really are incredible people and I’m sure I won’t fully appreciate just how amazing they are until they’re not here any more.  We are a fairly close family and my mother was quite upset the week prior to me moving out because we couldn’t have our evenings around the table any more.  My parents have been bad influences on me over the last year,  I’d say goodnight and they’d say “sit down and have a glass of wine and tell us what you’ve been up to”  needless to say that glass usually became a bottle and the time was generally nearer 1.30am than the 10.30pm I’d said ‘goodnight’!  So, Mum and Dad, you really are amazing, and I’m certain I haven’t told you that often enough nor shown my thanks or gratitude often enough!

What else has happened?  Well…..

I’ve actually committed to doing a skydive – 9^TH October.  I’m doing it for Touch Trust and have put conditions on it – I’ve said I’ll only do it if I’m strapped to the most hunky, handsome and single instructor that’s there.  Wonderful Dilys (Touch Trust founder) has promised me that she’ll ensure it happens that way!!  Isn’t it funny the things we have to tell ourselves in order to accomplish those things outside of our comfort zone?  For me the moment I trivialise the more likely I am to achieve them.  I know that jumping out of an aeroplane is no mean feat but if I focus on that I’ll never do it.  I need to take it away from my fear of heights.

So, what else has happened since I last posted?  Well, I’m still working with the same individual, my role has changed beyond recognition since I started but it’s still keeping my interest.  I’m now on special projects so I think I need to go out an get myself a leather catsuit, brush up on my kick-boxing skills and only answer to the name of ‘Purdey’!  Is that my fantasy or the boss’s?  Well I haven’t asked him so I can’t answer that!

I’ve split up with the man that  took me to the States.  He always had and will always have, a very special place in my heart but I can’t help but think (with the benefit of hindsight) that we ruined a brilliant friendship by trying to make it more.  The problem was all mine.  He wanted to give me more than I could, or was prepared to, accept at that  point.   I know I’ve broken his heart – he told me so –  and I don’t feel good about that but I really couldn’t carry on in a relationship that wasn’t working for me on every level.  After two marriages I promised myself that I wasn’t prepared to settle for anything that didn’t work 100% for me in the future.  It might be harsh but I really couldn’t enter a 3^rd marriage (and that was his intention) when I didn’t feel totally comfortable with it. 

Wow!  I’ve wittered on and there’s so much more to say.  Perhaps I’ll finish this post here and do another one, then you can dip in and out as you like.

What on earth shall I say next?  Proof, if ever I needed it, that it’s easier to update every couple of days!!!

Speak soon.

x

Challenging but not frightening.

I’ve just realised it’s been almost 3 weeks since I last posted.  So much for saying I was going to post every couple of days as my way of writing a journal!  Now you know why my diaries never get beyond January.  In reality this is just about the first opportunity I’ve had to post and I’m doing this instead of house/flat-hunting! 

So, keeping with the themes of doing something different every day and learning new things, I was struggling as I sat down to think of anything different I’ve done since returning from Holiday and then I realised that actually, what I’d done previously was publish my bucket list and my dreams.  What’s different about that you might ask?  Well, sometimes, when you put something ‘out there’ you get what you’ve asked for.  And I’ve realised that by putting them ‘out there’ I’ve positioned myself to actually achieve some of the things on my bucket list!

I’m in a fortunate position to be working with an individual I greatly admire and respect.  In fact, when I first met him some 5 years ago I said to myself “I want to work with him and I’m going to work with him – one day”.  Little did I expect it to become a reality.  As a result of some discussions we had prior to me going away he made me an offer upon my return.  I had gone away knowing exactly what I wanted and what I hoped he would table – he proposed exactly what I was looking for.  Through working with him I’m learning about a subject that I’ve always found fascinating but never thought I was capable of understanding.  By reading about the subject matter and seeing it applied I’ve realised that I do actually understand the logic of it and can’t wait to get deeper into the subject – it’s what I term ‘High Finance’.  The really complicated stuff that generally only the very wealthy get to do or understand.  I’ve worked in positions before where I’ve come across it but until now it’s always gone way over my head.  Now it feels that it’s all within reach.  And I’m doing this alongside the consulting work I’m doing for one of his companies.  He’s certainly challenging me.

Through working with this individual I’ve been introduced to a charity that I’m gettting quite involved in.  We’re helping them with the business side of what they do and I’m loving it.  I’ve always wanted to ‘give something back’ and this, along with other things I’ve taken on, is allowing me to fulfill that part of me.  If you want to find out more take a look at www.touch-trust.org  The founder of the Charity is Dilys Price, she’s 78 and she sky-dives on a weekend for fun!  Solo sky-diving at that.  A sky dive is on my list of things to do before I’m 40 – maybe this is why I’ve been introduced to Touch Trust, I’d never heard of them until 10 days ago.  Will you sponsor me if I do a skydive for them?  (Bearing in mind my fear of heights)?

I’ve also signed up as the Secretary of Cardiff Players, www.cardiffplayers.org the Amateur Drama Company I’m a member of.  They needed some business support too, so the way I could be the most effective was by joining their committee.  At their AGM, the day after arriving home from the States, I volunteered (and was seconded) as their secretary.  Maybe attending the AGM whilst jet-lagged wasn’t such a good idea!  Watch this space, or follow me on twitter – Debjmeredith – for details of their forthcoming 2010/2011 programme.  Or follow CardiffPlayers

And I’ve agreed to become an adjudicator for Glamorgan Drama League – I get to go out and critique  various Amateur theatre productions across South Wales.  I remember how my nerves used to jangle when I knew the adjudicator was in the audience.  It’s strange to think I could possibly have that effect on someone but I do understand it.  I was adjudicated myself in November for my first foray back onto stage for some 6 years.  I was a nervous wreck!!!  I won’t be leaving it so long before I go back on stage again.

Today I’ve also sorted a long-running health issue I’ve had.  Nothing serious but annoying and inconvenient.  Hopefully today’s slightly invasive but thankfully, short, procedure will sort it out. 

So in terms of doing something different every day I’m learning new things almost every minute.  Oh, and I’ve learned that you don’t always have to sit in an office to be efficient and effective.  I’ve had some of the worst days of my working life this last week (joke) – I’ve been forced to sit in Cardiff Bay, in the sunshine, drinking coffee (pre 1pm) or peppermint tea (post 1pm) whilst working.  Can’t exactly say I’ve got a problem with that. 

The person I’m working with has said that people generally don’t like working with him because he has no ‘structure’.  Well, prior to my holiday I had a good ole chat with a friend of mine, Heather Gifford (google her, she’s an incredible woman) and she pointed out to me that I really don’t like structure.  2 weeks later I got an opportunity to work with someone who can’t find anyone to work with him because he doesn’t do structure!  Heather was right, I can deal with structure to a degree but after a while I find I’m looking for ways to change it, trash it or ignore it all together!!!

The Universe has a very funny way of putting opportunities and obstacles in our path for a reason.  I’m starting to believe there is no such thing as coincidence and as long as the Universe wants to send anything my way I’m up for the challenge.

Maybe the most surprising thing though is that I feel as if I’ve started to slow down.  Someone said to me recently “Slow down.  Cut your diary.  And don’t work Mondays and Fridays”.  Initially I thought they’d gone mad but having tried to apply that and been relatively successful over the last 10 days or so, I think I’m beginning to understand where they were coming from.  They said that if I just calmed down and relaxed the opportunities that were right for me would come to me instead of me forcing opportunities that were only 80% right.  Guess what?  They were right!  And I so hate admitting that!!!  Maybe that’s why I’m meant to have met this person at this point in my life?

People come into our lives for all sorts of reasons.  Some come in briefly and then disappear, others stick around for a while.  Over the last 18 months I’ve re-established some long-standing relationships and I’ve developed new relationships with some amazing people.

I can honestly say, despite all that’s happened over the last 18 months, I feel like a very fortunate and lucky individual and this is just the start of the rest of my life.  Wow!

Thank you all for being there.

Deb

xx

Different, New, Enjoyable and Memorable.

In a previous blogpost I’ve written about my bucket list of things to do before I’m 40.  One of the things on my list was ‘do something different every day’.  I was doing well until I came on holiday and forgot to list all the different things I’ve been doing, so I’ve decided to catch up here.  And I remember that I was also going to keep a blog/journal every couple of days so this counts to that too!!

One of the biggest differences is that I’ve actually taken a holiday.  This is my first holiday in 7 years and the 2 days prior to coming on holiday were possibly the two most stressful days I’ve had in a long time!  I’d forgotten how to switch off and enjoy a break/holiday.  If truth were known, I’ve never truly switched off anyway, it’s just not in my make up (or Quick Start MO as Kathy Kolbe would say) but I have slowed down and limited ‘work’ to a daily 1o minute email check and catching up with  all of the reading I just haven’t had chance to do.  I relax by learning new things so reading a work/business/personal development book whilst by the pool is my idea of heaven.  Of course it’s helped by sipping a frozen Margarita or two!!!  So what else have I done that’s different?

Well it’s my first time in the USA and I’m being really strict with my gluten & dairy free diet without apologising for it.  I’ve also just been me – instead of the person I’m expected to be.  Today I’ve spent the entire day sitting around in a bikini and throw-over and I haven’t put make-up on whilst I’ve been away (well OK, a bit of Mascara for a posh dinner on Saturday night) and you know what?  Its’ been great!

I’ve said ‘no’ to things instead of just going along with them for an easy life.  I’ve gone to bed long before the rest of the party simply because I was too tired to stay up any more, I’ve danced when I’ve wanted to dance and I’ve worn my bikini by the pool with pride, despite being the largest woman in our party (by a long shot)!.  I’ve embraced my curves!!

I’ve unleashed my inner child by wrestling with the inflatable shark in the pool whilst laughing like a hyena the whole time.  I’ve watched geckos basking in the sun whilst I’ve been basking in the sun on the pool.  I’ve taken 2 weeks away from business and it’s unleashed my creativity, motivation and inspiration.  I’m away from my son for the longest I’ve ever been away from  him.  And I’m allowing myself to be totally and utterly spoiled – something I’ve always had difficulty with.

Before I came away someone said to me “Be all you can be’.  Well, all I can be is me, in all my different guises; mother, business-woman, consultant, girlfriend, speaker, lover, cook, gardener, home-maker and many more.  They’re all me and I’m being all I can be whilst doing something different every day.

And maybe just being me, my true self, is the biggest difference I’m experiencing daily?

Sometimes it might just take us until we’re almost 40 to understand just who we are, what makes us tick and how we go about achieving our dreams.  Or sometimes we just need to change the way we think about how things should be for everything to be just right the way it is, for ourselves.

Yes, my thinking on a number of things has also change these past few days and right now I believe everything in my life is exactly as it should be, right now, until the next opportunity presents itself.

Deb

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